Time well spent

Today was a good day to be out of the house. Temperatures in San Jose rose to around 98 degrees fahrenheit and maybe a 100 degrees fahrenheit in Pleasanton where Junby, Therese and I spent the whole afternoon.

The Galvez family were gracious enough to babysit for us while Junby and I had our date. We opted to try something other than our usual movie or eating at a restaurant date. We had a picnic at one of the parks in Pleasanton. We spread a blanket under a tree, had some sandwiches I had prepared and generally just relaxed and chatted. What was great about it was that we had the park to ourselves, there was enough breeze to make it pleasant despite the heat, and I realized anew that I liked my husband's company. That might seem like a strange thing to say, given that we are married to each other but I have seen enough marriages here where the spouses seem to hold the other in contempt to appreciate what Junby and I have.

After about 2 hours of just hanging out, we decided to check out a Catholic bookstore, Glad Tidings. As expected we left that store laden with several books to add to our collection. I now have several new books lined up to be read. We next went to Trader Joe's to get maple syrup and other organic goodies. Before heading back to pick up Therese we indulged in some frozen yogurt at Blush in Dublin. We only found the place by texting google for the address. Isn't that cool? All in all it was a great day. Thank you Lord.

So soon?

September is just a few days away. Soon, Therese will be a year old. Wow! The once 6 pounds 9.2 ounce baby is well on her way in discovering the treasures this world has to offer. From being totally dependent on her Papa and Mama to slowly learning to do things on her own, our baby has come a long way.

I still have moments throughout each day where I find myself marveling at this gift -- another human being different from her father and me, yet somehow an expression, a tangible proof of our love for each other. Frankly, it boggles my mind. What a gift, a privilige, a responsibility and what trust God shows us in entrusting this soul into our care.

My constant prayer is for grace to adequately guide her to know, love and live for God. Even now as she tests her wings, I find myself agonizing over how to discipline her well without crushing her spirit. Dr Ray Gaurendi is right. With the proliferation of child-rearing experts, parents have become unsure on how to parent their kids. It seems so complicated now. If I listen and heed all the advice out there, I would be paralyzed to act for fear of damaging her psyche. I pray for common sense and the will to follow through on disciplinary measures.

Someday

I wonder if any of you have one of those days, wherein you had laid out perfectly how your day would go and then find all your plans derailed? I had one of those days today or rather I had one of those plans today but circumstances dictated that other things had to take precedence over what I had fancifully envisioned.

At first there's a pang of disappointment. Depending on how much you had anticipated, agonized or expected in regards to your plans, that is how deep the feeling of disappointment will go. Next might come an attempt to salvage part of the plan by trying to find a compromise of sorts so that the much awaited plan can still somehow be implemented. If that doesn't work, what comes next are a combination of two emotions -- anger/resentment or sadness/acceptance. All these happen of course in the space of either a few minutes or days, depending on how much you like nursing your disappointment.

As for me, I felt all those emotions in the space of several minutes. I guess I have gotten used to having the best of my plans waylaid. Being a mother for 11 months now, I have learned to roll with the punches or go with the flow. I had at one point in the early months been known to say to my spouse, "Mitzi proposes, Therese disposes".

So tonight, as I lay to rest one of my much anticipated (by me anyway since my husband had no idea) plan due to something more important, like my child's safety, I find myself saying in my heart, someday...hopefully someday I can take this plan out, dust it off a bit and maybe see it to fruition. Hopefully too, it would fulfill some of my expectations.

Watching at the sidelines

Some things we really can't do for others. We can only bring them to the place to drink from but its up to them to drink. That I think is our role as parents.

It leaves me feeling helpless at times as I watch, guide and set up situations for Therese to learn from. It just seems that it would be easier if I were to do it but paradoxically it will be best for her in the long run. I just need to remind myself to be on the lookout for those teachable moments and not deprive her of them no matter how it might be inconvenient for me at the time.

Holy Spirit guide me.

In need of conversion

Keep on keeping on. That's what today's scripture readings are about. Very apt too for today is the Feastday of St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine of Hippo. I marvel at St. Monica's perseverance and love. She had a husband who was an unbeliever and a son who had a mistress with whom he had a child with. She prayed, begged for their conversion. They did convert but only after many many years. St. Monica, pray for us and our loved ones that we might become more and more like Jesus.

Today's gospel warns us to 'keep awake' for no one knows when the Master is coming. How have I become lax in the things entrusted to me? Am I still living my faith consistently and radically -- being salt and light in my circle of influence? Admittedly, the answer is 'no'. Holy Spirit grant me the grace to shake off my apathy and start walking the talk again -- in small and big ways. Amen.

Sacred Friendships

One joy I've had in my life is having good, enriching and life-giving friendships with priests. I really became friends with priests during my graduate studies in pastoral ministry. Before that, I had viewed priests as quite beyond my reach. They belonged to the lofty heights reserved for God's special friends. I was too ordinary to join their ranks.

I have found though that priests are quite human and that they too need good, God-fearing friendships. The life they are called to is fraught with challenges. They too need the human connection all people need to thrive and grow. I am blessed by having priest friends. I remember them now and keep them in my prayers especially this year of the priest.

Better left unsaid

Sa huli palagi ang pagsisisi. There truly is wisdom in the advice that if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. I should have kept myself from teasing, no matter how good natured I intended it to be. Why have I not learned? I well-know that that person tends to be sensitive and gets easily offended. I should have listened to that small voice in my head that warned me that what I was typing might be taken the wrong way. Sigh. Lord, change me.

Handy excuse

Though I chafe and think longingly of what I could do with my time if I wasn't trying to get T to sleep, to be honest, I also might not know what to do with myself if I did have all that time! Sometimes my difficulty with T's inability to nap well and sleep early and through the night are handy excuses to shirk my other responsibilities like putting order to the rest of our home or getting updated on the state of our finances.

How apt that today's readings are a reminder to look at one's self and check for hypocrisy. O Lord, change me.

Nowhere else I'd rather be

Its times like these, waiting for T to drift off to sleep, that I find myself debating -- whether to leave her side and attend to the chores waiting to be done or succumb to the invitation to snuggle deeper, breathe in her baby scent and maybe drift off to dreamland too. Which shall I do now? Nap. Yes :-)